Kids aren’t key to women’s happiness

[archerships]

Via herbaliser:

‘Kids aren’t key to women’s happiness’

Although they won’t receive flowers or candy on Mother’s Day, women who have not had children seem to be just as happy in their 50s as
those who did go down the family path.

In fact the loneliest, least contented and most vulnerable women were found to be mothers who were single, divorced or widowed in middle age, according to new research. Being healthy and having a partner gave a bigger boost to women’s happiness and well-being than being mothers, with education, work and relationships with family and friends also important factors.

“Among this group of women in their 50s the childless women are very similar to the moms in terms of their psychological well-being,” said Tanya Koropeckyj-Cox, a sociology professor at the University of Florida and the lead author of the study. “That is striking given that these would have been the mothers of the baby boom, so even among that group it doesn’t seem to make a big difference,” she added.

The findings are based on two surveys of nearly 6,000 women aged between 51 to 61 years old that were conducted in 1992 and from 1987-1988. “Whether you are socially integrated or have concerns about paying the bills — those things play a more direct role in shaping psychological well-being among women in midlife,” Koropeckyj-Cox added.

The research, which will be published in the International Journal of Aging and Human Development, showed that the timing of motherhood was also important to happiness. Women who had children in their teens were more depressed and lonelier than those who had their children later.

“We confirm that early mothering seems to represent the greatest disadvantage and that is mainly linked to the economics and marital status,” Koropeckyj-Cox said.

Original: craschworks - comments

Comments

[vyus.livejournal.com]

without having delved into the study itself, seems like they'd need to figure some way of comparing one's 9-on-a-10-scale happiness with another's 9-on-a-10-scale. people don't always know how happy a dog will make them until they have a dog.

i assume something similar with kids.

also, the last statement seem misleading... i mean, chances are the kid had a kid in their teens is cos they were depressed/low-self esteem in the first place. i realize not all early mothers fit this bill, but i'd be willing to bet a statistical majority are. ie they gotta prove the causal relationship on that one.

[ersigh.livejournal.com]

I think happiness is probably being judged according to what the psychology world agrees on... so the individual feelings will vary but the state of mind will be consistent (IE: not depressed, regretful, is productive, yadda).

[jane]

I think being able to have interests of your own and the freedom and opportunity to pursue them is also a big contribution to happiness when you get older.

My aunt who never had or wanted kids and my mom who had 6 kids are both in their fifties now. My aunt is busy, happy and a wonderful person to hang out with, and so is my mom now that she's had the youngest kid finally leave and she can pursue her own interests. She told me the other day that if she'd been less pressured to get married and have kids when she was young, she probably wouldn't have gone through with it.

"Whether you are socially integrated or have concerns about paying the bills — those things play a more direct role in shaping psychological well-being among women in midlife,” Koropeckyj-Cox added."

This bit here rang especially true to me. I think it's also true no matter what age you are.

Personally, I think happiness is what you make of it whether or not you have kids. I think a lot of unhappy mothers were pressured into having kids they were ambivalent about and a lot of the unhappy women without kids are mired in "what could have been."

[danlyke.livejournal.com]

Yep. I'm completely happy being child-free because my friends have generally been older than me, and I gave up counting the number of times I heard "I wouldn't give them up for the world, but if I had it to do over again...".

I do wonder about some of the causality that's implied here, if women tend to be about as happy as their moms reported being, then it may just be that those who choose not to have kids tended to be happier to begin with. The teen mothers looking for validation by having a kid may be the real source of the skew in this data set.

[ersigh.livejournal.com]

I knew, when I was a teen, they'd eventually figure this out. I was trying to get my tubes tied when I was 19 but my doctor refused (insurance said "ok!")... I got pregnant shortly after and my doctor came very close to having her nose broken when she said, "Aren't you glad I didn't tie your tubes?"

I love my son and don't want anything to happen to him but I know for a fact that my life would be far, far better and I'd be a generally happier person if I hadn't gotten pregnant than. The moment I had a kid I became held down and all of my plans had to change... my life of wandering, taking photos and LIVING were changed to a different kind of living... less... something.

I wanted to be the super awesome aunt to all my friends kids. Hence far, I'm still the only person in my friend group who has had kids (and i'm in my 30s).