![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
archershipsWise words from boffo:
If you choose friends and/or lovers who are constantly spewing drama, pain, negativity, and sadness, then your life will be filled with drama, pain, negativity, and sadness. But if you avoid those people and instead choose friends/lovers who generate joy, fun, and affection, your life will be filled with joy, fun, and affection. That’s way better.
It’s also a good idea to think about which category *you* fall into. If you’re constantly spewing drama, pain, negativity, and sadness, not only will you be compounding the drama, pain, negativity, and sadness in your life yourself, but you’ll also miss out on some wonderful friendships because the best people won’t be willing to hang out with someone like you.
I would add indifference to the list of things to avoid. I don’t think I have any friends who consistently bring negative emotion into my life. But in the past, I’ve sometimes pursued relationships too long, when it was clear that the person I liked didn’t feel the same way about me. The person did nothing bad, they just didn’t reciprocate. And sometimes I’ve neglected those who have been enthusiastic cheerleaders for me. It would be better to redirect my energies to nurturing my already healthy friendships, and to let the sickly ones quietly fade away.
To those to whom I have been a source of pain or negativity, my apologies. And to those I’ve neglected, I’ll try to be a better friend.
And to those who have been good friends to me: my thanks.
Original: craschworks - comments
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 04:03 pm (UTC)Unfortunately, beings from my planet feed off of drama, pain, and sadness. I feel so invalidated.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 06:42 pm (UTC)i have done precisely this - to my discredit and frustration. no more.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-04 07:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 09:09 pm (UTC)I went through a phase of doing that after my marriage ended. I felt guilty for leaving and thought perhaps I just wasn't trying hard enough. I've learned my lesson on that one.
As far as the negativity goes, I agree. I have a lot of crappy stuff happening in my life, all the venting goes to my LJ and pretty much no where else. I worry that I'm too negative. I tend to be very passionate and expressive about things and will end up ranting but I have a small group of really good people in my life who, without saying anything, help give me perspective that I am balancing the negative aspects of my life well enough to not scare the people I care about away.
I lost all but one of my friends when this stuff started happening in my life because people don't know how to deal with negative things (not negative behavior but things that are outside a person's control that cause devastating effects). I hate the situation I'm in but it's been a great filter when it comes to friendships.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:05 am (UTC)When I think of a negative person, I think of someone who is pessimistic and bleak for no good reason, or who isn't taking any positive steps to correct whatever is causing the emotions.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:30 am (UTC)I admit I'm not much better with the unrealistically positive people though.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 12:34 am (UTC)that was the best tea i've ever had. i've taken 3 baths in 2 days!!!
:long hug:
thanks for adding light, joy, comfort to my life.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-03 01:51 am (UTC)