Almighty Tupperware

[archerships]

I'm always amazed at the people who think they know the mind of God.

"You atheists are going to burn in Hell!"

Really? Consider.

Although I pray every day to be cursed with great wealth, it does seem have some true disadvantages. For example, does Warren Buffett really know who his friends are? I bet he sometimes wonders "does Ol' Bob here have a deep and abiding affection for me, or a deep and abiding affection for my money?

Maybe life on Earth is really God's way of sifting the real "Friends of God" from the ass-kissers and sycophants.

I can see it now -- the Day of Judgement.

God: "Alright, all you Jesus-pimpers and Mohammed-fluffers. Out, out of the pool. I"m sick and tired of the constant whining, and begging. You think I give a damn about who wins your friggin ball games? The rest of you, come with me."

I mean c'mon. What kind of God would create beings whose sole purpose is to worship him? It'd be like being worshipped by an ant farm.

To be sure, as an atheist, this is all very self-serving. _Of course_ God created the Universe just to window out the grain of independent thinkers from the chafe of religious nuts.

You listening, God?

Hmmmph.

If God(s) exist, I'm betting that we're all the cosmic equivalent of mold growing in the Almighty's Tupperware at the back of the fridge.

Comments

weaving my hand-basket right now...

[cranialouch.livejournal.com]

actually, i think it would be kind of cool to be worshiped by a colony of ants. as a sacrifice they could throw themselves into little ant volcanos (like cans of diet coke) and battle each other to the death to declare my glory. though eventually i'd probably grow bored with their ANTics (*buhduh-ching*) and then pit them against much larger bugs that would crush them or enslave them.

here's what i say to religious people about my atheism: you better hope that i'm right and there really isn't a god. your god is a deadbeat father; if any earthly father treated his children with the same neglect and random terror that your god does they'd slap a child abuse suit on him and be after him for back child support in a heartbeat. if you're right about there being a god and if he happens to be compassionate and deems that i'm generally a decent person despite being an atheist and decides to let me into heaven... well, when i meet that asshole, i'm going to punch him in the face and hitchhike down to hell, because i'll be goddamned if i'm going to spend eternity in the same house with that dumb motherfucker.

Re: weaving my hand-basket right now...

[evilegg.livejournal.com]

Hand-basket huh? I prefer the ole greased slide.

The botheresome thing about being atheist is that it involves so much of actually defending your right to not believe.
To even acknowledge the "god thing" by having a contra-title seems to bestow some sort of credibility to the subject.
Not believing should not have to involve any action at all, just live and let live, and if it gets to be a worrisome thing for me I will seek out help. And if I should go to hell (that even sounds rediculous in the hypothetical) I just hope all those burned books are there too.

Re: weaving my hand-basket right now...

[visgoth.livejournal.com]

The botheresome thing about being atheist is that it involves so much of actually defending your right to not believe.

It's good to know I'm not the only one. :)

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Hmm...maybe your right. Being worshipped by ants would be kinda cool.

No nearer to an ant-farmer than thee

[jette.livejournal.com]

God: "Alright, all you Jesus-pimpers and Mohammed-fluffers. Out, out of the pool. I"m sick and tired of the constant whining, and begging. You think I give a damn about who wins your friggin ball games? The rest of you, come with me."

As Uncle Al used to say, "It is pure chance that rules the universe, it's because of this and only this, that life is good."

(I'm not an atheist, I'm a Christian, among other things. I believe, but I don't believe It cares about who wins the super bowl. Goddess, I hope not.)

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Are you a Deist? Or do you believe in an active God?

No. Neither.

[jette.livejournal.com]

I believe in one God,
the Father Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and of all things visible and invisible;

And in one Lord Jesus Christ,
the only begotten Son of God,
begotten of his Father before all worlds,
God of God, Light of Light,
very God of very God,
begotten, not made,
being of one substance with the Father;
by whom all things were made;
who for us men and for our salvation
came down from heaven,
and was incarnate by the Holy Ghost
of the Virgin Mary,
and was made man;
and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered and was buried;
and the third day he rose again
according to the Scriptures,
and ascended into heaven,
and sitteth on the right hand of the Father;
and he shall come again, with glory,
to judge both the quick and the dead;
whose kingdom shall have no end.

And I believe in the Holy Ghost the Lord, and Giver of Live,
who proceedeth from the Father [and the Son];
who with the Father and the Son together
is worshipped and glorified;
who spake by the Prophets.
And I believe one holy Catholic and Apostolic Church;
I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins;
and I look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come....

...Among other things...

Neither the absentee father model nor the meddlesome sticky beak with a beard model work for me. I don't believe that the essential conciousness and energy of the universe works on that level.

[mudchild.livejournal.com]

For an atheist, I think way too much about "God." I spend way too much time with religious people.

Summering at my firm, it seemed that i was either hanging out with Mormons or Jews, people who wear their brand of religion like a gaudy name-plate necklace.

Can't figure out why. Cause its interesting, I guess. The mythologies sound lovely. Wish I could drift into a fantasy of eternal paradise. But i never appreciated life more until i realized that this is all we get.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hope the religious are right, at least about the afterlife. Death seems like a damn hard problem to solve via scientific means.

BTW, has anyone ever contemplated the union of the religous laws you must follow to satisfy most of the major world religions? I want to cover most my bases....:>

[zapevaj.livejournal.com]

Amen. I never understood those people who'd pray to God to let them win the Super Bowl when there are wars devastating entire countries going on. You'd think God was a little more concerned about other things?

"Because as we all KNOW, God's a great big Green Bay Packers fan, RIGHT?" -Denis Leary.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Is it likely that he would even care about wars? When was the last time you cared about two antpiles fighting each other?

[kittles.livejournal.com]

Hey you. Happy late birthday! :)

[crasch.livejournal.com]

:> Thanks for the note!