The Educated Man Shortage

[archerships]

http://www.reason.com/hitandrun/2006/01/the_educated_ma.shtml

New York Times columnist John Tierney has an interesting op/ed today on the looming crisis of too many edumacated uppity wimmin chasing after a dwindling supply of eligible (edumacated and white collar) males. The "crisis" stems from the fact that nearly 3 women graduate from college for every 2 men who do. Tierney points out that under 35 year old men say in polls that they have no big problem marrying women who make more money than they do. However, women who have gone to the trouble of getting a college degree do not want to marry a guy whose pint-sized paycheck would occasion malicious gossip among her friends.

Tierney seems to be onto something. A year or so ago, a professor in a graduate political science program at a leading state university told me that his department was beginning to think about an affirmative action plan for males. Why? Because his department could fill all its classes with qualified women, but women wouldn't apply to the program unless there are some eligible bachelors alongside them in the classrooms.

Tierney writes:

The women surveyed were less willing to marry down--marry someone with much lower earnings or less education--than the men were to marry up. And, in line with Jane Austen, the women were also more determined to marry up than the men were.
You may think that women's attitudes are changing as they get more college degrees and financial independence. A woman who's an executive can afford to marry a struggling musician. But that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to. Studies by David Buss of the University of Texas and others have shown that women with higher incomes, far from relaxing their standards, put more emphasis on their mate's financial resources.

I would link to the op/ed except that the New York Times wants you to pay for seeing it.

Comments

[lucystag.livejournal.com]

Strange...I keep seeing articles claiming the opposite, in that successful women are much less likely to get married because successful men want to marry their secretaries and the like, people "beneath them."

I mean, I wouldn't want to marry a wino or a heroin addict, but if you can survive being married to the freelance writer or the broke-ish musician I don't see what the big deal would be.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

I think men place much greater emphasis on youth and beauty, and woman place much greater emphasis on status and wealth (a vast overgeneralization, I know).

So, it's not so much that men don't value women of high accomplishment, it's that by the time a woman has achieved high accomplishment, she's older and less attractive than the sweet young secretaries.

Older, accomplished women have two factors working against them -- they want to marry a man that is as accomplished as they are (a necessarily small pool), and many of the men within that small pool want to marry women who are young and beautiful. (And because such men are wealthy/powerful, they can attract young women, and have no need to seek women closer to their own age.)

[crasch.livejournal.com]

I think men also have an issue with not being the main provider of the family.

Yes, I think you're right, that's part of it. I know I would feel embarrassed to explain that my wife was the sole provider (even though I know it's irrational, and would not feel the same if the roles were reversed.)

[goldenfyre.livejournal.com]

This topic fascinates me. I would like to say that I wouldn't fall into that category, but I ended up dating a number of non-professional guys (writers who did temp work, actors who lifeguarded, mountain climbers who worked retail, etc.) ... and ended up marrying a lawyer like me.

What was part of it is that the unprofessional guys didn't want to settle down, marry, have kids....but I am silly to think that my feelings about their ambition levels didn't influence me. Now that I have a kid, it is a bit frightening to think of being married to someone without a reliable (and let's face it - a fairly good) income. Not only that it means that I have to keep working, because I am going to do that anyway... but that it means that if I physically or mentally could not keep working because of having a kid, we wouldn't be able to support ourselves in this city, unless we moved out to the boonies or the like.

Dunno. It is a fascinating trend/study.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I certainly understand the desire to find a good provider, if you expect to have children.

I also think people tend to pick someone who is their "equal" all things considered. If one person is always paying, then there might be some resentment and/or constantly conflicting desires (she wants leather furniture, he wants thrift store finds).

[hippierage.livejournal.com]

it doesn't even account for those of us that are gay.

[kittles.livejournal.com]

I know I'm an exception to the generalization. I'd keep John as a Kept Man if he'd let me. All I want out of a man is for him to BE a man. Which is a paradox, since Manly Men probably don't let women Keep them. ;)

[parakleta.livejournal.com]

Oooh... I want to be a kept man... and "I like to do manly things, because I am a man" (Black Books reference, a British comedy (do they make it to the states?)) :)

I dunno, but the lifestyle of a househusband appeals to me. There seems to be something particularly loving about devoting your life to the building of a home and ensuring the happiness of your partner. How cool it would be to have the freedom to spend my time becoming the perfect man.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

See, that's all part of John's nefarious plan. He wants to be a kept man, but he knows you wouldn't want him if you knew. So he pretends not to want to be a kept man.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Alice Eagly of Northwestern University and Wendy Wood of Duke University provided a major review of mate-selection data with findings from 10,000 people in 37 countries.

It found that in societies where women have access to resources, they do not choose older "provider" males to marry. Instead, they go for men who are kind, intelligent and can bond with children.

source

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Very interesting.

[visgoth.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering how much this depends on American society just not being used to women making more money than men yet. I.e., how (if at all) will this change over the next 50 years?

[elsewhereangel.livejournal.com]

interesting. i know i've complained at times about women who seem to be using graduate school as a shopping mall for men with graduate degrees (a process i find quite irritating). there was an article i was reading about a month back which pointed out that a high percentage of women with advanced degrees seemed to be dropping out of the workforce entirely after marriage (especially upon the birth of their second child). perhaps the two components fit together - if a well-educated and successful woman has it as her ultimate goal to be a stay-at-home mom than she is necessarily going to be focused on finding a mate who can provide an income equal to or superior to her own for that period. that this might be an underlying factor is emphasized by the NYT article's mention of women looking for bachelors in their grad classes. the emphasis is clearly as much on marriage market as it is on education.

this is something i've struggled with at times. i'm working hard towards getting my doctorate but the field i'm in necessitates that i be willing to uproot and go wherever i find work in the next couple of years (i'm 27). if i find someone equally driven in his/her own career, one of the two of us would probably have to seriously subordinate our career. i've worked too hard to give mine up and i imagine that someone who worked equally hard would feel the same way. this means i'm looking for someone supportive of my career & willing to move with me. however the social pressure to find a "good" husband (with a clear emphasis on good meaning good job) is omnipresent and surprisingly far-reaching.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's particularly hard for academics. Academic jobs are rare enough, and finding jobs for two people in the same city can be quite difficult. Better find somebody with a mail order business...: >

I'm sad

[(Anonymous)]

I'm just so sad. Women wanted equality, they get equality. Now they repay lower waged earning men by saying "forget you, I need someone who makes x amount of dollars".

Marriage

[(Anonymous)]

> women surveyed were less willing to marry down

That doesn't matter. Men aren't marrying anymore after the draconian anti-male laws and courts of the past 30 years have decimated the previous generation of males.

Very few Millennial men are going to tie the knot, and the single Gen X men may hook up with Millennial females, but they aren't going to marry them. Put simply, western society is going to find in the near future that the majority of adults are single and almost no man wants to marry.