Bad Bird

[archerships]

Via Erosblog, originally found on Biker's Balls and Teacher's Tits

The service tech came in and I showed him to the location of the new outlet. Not five minutes later and Uccello started acting for the man. Dancing on his perch and singing to the music that was playing. All was fine until the chattering started. I was hoping that man would just ignore the bird, but it is difficult to ignore a 40 inch bird dangling upside down from his perch while yelling, "Look at me! Look!"

The cable guy did not look at him so Uccello started squawking. I went over to him to talk and give him attention so he would not interrupt the worker, but Uccello did not want my attention. He wanted the attention of the new guy!

Uccello continued, "Suck me, baby, suck me." That phrase got the man's attention. A smile came to his face.

The bird continued through his extensive lexicon of words. Repeating certain phrases that The Biker especially enjoys. I could feel my face turning red as I sat there caught between being embarrassed and wanting to just laugh out loud. "Pretty tits. Woo Hoo. Pretty tits," he said. I had to cover my breasts with my arms thinking that now the technician would be examining my chest, however his eyes did not leave his work.

"Fuck me hard, (inserting my nickname for The Biker). Do it!" Now I had to bite my lip.

The talking, squawking, acrobatics, and dancing continued, "Harder. Oh yeh!. faster. Oh yeh!" and "I'm so wet. Eat me." until finally, seemingly exhausted by not getting the attention he deserved Uccello concluded with his new line, "Make me cum. Make me cum!"

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Birds Behaving Badly
By The Teacher

When The Biker and I started dating, he jokes that he fell in love with Uccello first and me second. No, not the Early Renaissance Italian painter, but Uccello my blue and gold macaw that I hand raised and have had for 22 years. Uccello is an amazing creature. He mimics and carries on as if he is a person. He entertains us all the time, whether he's hanging upside down or yelling to us across the house. He loves acting like a clown just to hear us laugh at him.

Uccello's wings are clipped and that allows us to take him to the park, for rides in the Escalade, and even to the beach. He never goes far and if he cannot see us he calls out "Lost! Lost!" Then we call his name and he follows our voices to find us.

When we go away for the weekend, we use to have my parents take care of him. We would bring him to their home and he would enjoy himself, calling their cat and yelling at new people for a while. Nowadays, Uccello stays at home and is visited a few times a day by our neighbor, when we are away. He is no longer allowed at my parent's home because of his vocabulary. The Biker has taught him so many new phrases and words that he would offend my parents and really embarrass me. At Thanksgiving, we had to resort to putting him in the master bathroom, far from our guests as to not make them and me uncomfortable. The Biker is never embarrassed by him and just finds him entertaining and funny.

Uccello's newest phrase was revealed to me yesterday. The cable guy was in the house putting in a new dedicated cable outlet for our upstairs router. I had not put Uccello in the master bathroom, because I had gotten home late from work and the doorbell rang soon after I got in the house.

The service tech came in and I showed him to the location of the new outlet. Not five minutes later and Uccello started acting for the man. Dancing on his perch and singing to the music that was playing. All was fine until the chattering started. I was hoping that man would just ignore the bird, but it is difficult to ignore a 40 inch bird dangling upside down from his perch while yelling, "Look at me! Look!"

The cable guy did not look at him so Uccello started squawking. I went over to him to talk and give him attention so he would not interrupt the worker, but Uccello did not want my attention. He wanted the attention of the new guy!

Uccello continued, "Suck me, baby, suck me." That phrase got the man's attention. A smile came to his face.

The bird continued through his extensive lexicon of words. Repeating certain phrases that The Biker especially enjoys. I could feel my face turning red as I sat there caught between being embarrassed and wanting to just laugh out loud. "Pretty tits. Woo Hoo. Pretty tits," he said. I had to cover my breasts with my arms thinking that now the technician would be examining my chest, however his eyes did not leave his work.

"Fuck me hard, (inserting my nickname for The Biker). Do it!" Now I had to bite my lip.

The talking, squawking, acrobatics, and dancing continued, "Harder. Oh yeh!. faster. Oh yeh!" and "I'm so wet. Eat me." until finally, seemingly exhausted by not getting the attention he deserved Uccello concluded with his new line, "Make me cum. Make me cum!"

The cable guy was entertained and was a gentleman until he was done and out the door. He said, "That bird must be the life of the party."

I could feel my cheeks getting red and warm and I was just about to respond when he looked down at my chest and said, "This might get me in trouble but, the bird's right. Nice tits." I laughed. He smiled and was gone.