Exploding pigeons

[archerships]

theuglyvolvo's recent post regarding her dream wedding reminded me of my sister Jen's wedding.

It was held at the LDS 5th ward church building in Jerome, ID. Jen looked gorgeous in a lace gown, hand-sewn by my aunt Vesta. A faux white trellised arch stood at the beginning of the "bridal path". Relatives from both Kelly and Jen's family sat in chairs on either side. After a brief, but beautiful ceremony, Jen and Kelly stayed for photographs. Everyone else was instructed to take a packet of birdseed and line up outside the chapel doors.

My sister Heather had prepared dozens of small packets of birdseed, wrapped in green paper and finished with a curly yellow ribbon. I passed them out to everyone--Grandma, 5-year old nieces and nephews, bridesmaids, my parents, etc. Heather instructed everyone to open their packets and throw them into the air as soon as Jen and Kelly exited the church.

Finally, Jen and Kelly emerged. We all cheered and whistled. The five-year olds enthusiasticly tossed their birdseed into the air, as did everyone else.

Then it began. First the babies started crying and rubbing their eyes. The five year olds. Then the bridesmaids. Even the groomsman were rubbing their eyes. People began rushing into the church to wash out their eyes.

It was, of course, the birdseed.

I went into the kitchen and found the packages.

The second ingredient?

Cayenne pepper.

We had all been enthusiasticly throwing cayenne pepper into each other's eyes. I learned later that the cayenne pepper was added as deterrent to squirrels and other rodents.

Why birdseed rather than traditional rice? Heather had read somewhere that some pigeons gorged on the rice thrown at traditional weddings. The dry rice then expanded until their stomach exploded and they died. Kindhearted soul that she is, she thought it would be better to substitute rice.

You know, I liked the cayenne birdseed, but exploding pidgeons would be kinda cool too.

Comments

[visgoth.livejournal.com]

I'm not laughing at your pain. No, really.
*snerk*

BTW - the whole rice/exploding birds thing - not true. Although I admit it has a certain appeal. Kinda like feathery daytime fireworks.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

What value is the pain of others, if not to provide laughter to the rest of us. I agree-birds exploding on wedding rice is one of those things you wish were true though.

[auriam.livejournal.com]

Wow. I think that must've been a Kodak moment.. anyone get a shot of the Capsaicin Wedding? ;) Sorry, don't mean to make fun; I'm sure it wasn't very funny at the time.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

No, alas. There may be video of it somewhere though.

[chutzpahgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness. That makes no freakin' sense to add the pepper.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Squirrels, you know. Though I wonder if it is in fact a deterrent.

[faustin.livejournal.com]

Excommunication: A 10% pay increase, and Sundays off.

Jungmin and I briefly entertained the idea of having our wedding at a church I had attended when I was younger. One of the very first things they told us is "There must be NO throwing of rice outside the chapel, as it will kill the birds."

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Don't forget no guilt when you watch porn!

I plan to have a fog machine at my wedding.

[kestrelderyn.livejournal.com]

A lot of people nowadays hand out tiny bottles of bubbles and, at the end of the ceremony, they all blow bubbles everywhere.

It looks really neat!

[crasch.livejournal.com]

My third sister had bubbles at her wedding. And I concur that they look quite neat.

[new-iconoclast.livejournal.com]

Worst of all, the rice thing is a myth.