Why we marry [Edit: HOAX]

[archerships]

[EDIT: Oops, sorry guys. Seems I fell for it. Snopes says story is a hoax. As punishment, my fact-checker will be repeatedly sexually harassed.]


Courtesy of rumspringa

WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS New York Times 1-22-03

Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed
that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE
DAYS before anyone asked if he was feeling okay. George Turklebaum, 51,
who had been employed as a proof-reader at a New York firm for 30
years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23
other workers. He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until
Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was still working
during
the weekend. His boss Elliot Wachiaski said: "George was always the first
guy
in each morning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual
that
he was in the same position all that time and didn't say anything. He
was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself." A post mortem
examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a
coronary. Ironically, George was proofreading manuscripts of medical
textbooks
when he died. You may want to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally!
Moral of the story: Don't work too hard. Nobody notices anyway!!

Comments

[hiddendreams.livejournal.com]

This was positively, morbidly funny! :-) And sad... :-( But still funny...! LOL

[mindwalker.livejournal.com]

That's the kind of company I'd like to work at - one where nobody would bother me for at least a week!

one of the saddest things i have ever heard.

[mudchild.livejournal.com]

yes, the poor man definitely needed a wife.

[ratkrycek.livejournal.com]

Wow... just wow. Poor guy.

[contrariandoer.livejournal.com]

funny story.

But what does it have to do with reasons for
marriage?

[crasch.livejournal.com]

So that someone will notice if you've been dead for 5 days.

Re:

[contrariandoer.livejournal.com]

I don't get it. To have someone notice if I am dead
for 5 days, I just need to have a close friend. Why
shoud one marry for that reason?

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Sure, you don't _need_ to get married for someone to notice that you were dead. But a spouse is much more likely to notice than most people. For example, I don't think I have any close friends that would notice if I was dead for 5 days. Even close friends aren't going to necessarily think anything's wrong if they don't hear from you for a week. My family is distant, and though I talk with them once/week, five days could easily pass before they thought something was wrong. My coworkers would notice, but only because my job is such that I interact with them on a daily basis. Some of my co-workers who work from home I might not notice for that long.

Re:

[contrariandoer.livejournal.com]

You made a good point. I still don't think one should
get married for this reason. Besides, what is death
anyway? Why do you want people to notice your
death?

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not the only reason to get married, of course. And having a longterm live-in lover would work just as well.

I would want someone around who would notice my death because a) they might notice something was wrong and seek help _before_ I was dead b) they could call the cryonics company to have me cryopreserved before too much decay set in.

Re:

[contrariandoer.livejournal.com]

No argument on the first part.

I totally disagree with you on the second part. You
can always wire yourself up with a monitoring
system so that when your life sign is week the
system notices the cryonics company right
away. You don't need a spouse to do that.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

As I've stated before, you don't _need_ a spouse. However a spouse is helpful for the reasons I described (among others).

Monitoring systems such as you suggest would indeed be helpful. However, they have not existed commercially until recently. (Indeed, I'm not sure that they exist even now--they were in the prototype stage the last time I investigated monitoring systems a few years ago.) They're also prone to the problems that all alarm systems have -- false positives, inattentive monitors at the alarm station, dead batteries, etc. They're also not very subtle--you could be in great medical danger, yet not necessarily set off the alarm (for example, if you have a stroke). Humans are much more sensitive to subtle changes in behavior or appearance.

It's also an empirical fact that married people live longer than unmarried people, although the arrow of causation is unknown--marriage may make people healthier, but it may also simply be that healthier people are more likely to marry.

[mary919.livejournal.com]

I'll check on you every day if you pay me.
I'll even take your pulse & record it in a little book.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

24 hour nursing care is ideal. But too expensive for most people I'm afraid.

[contrariandoer.livejournal.com]

Monitoring systems are relatively new. It just
takes time for engineers to make them more
usable. Hopefully, by the time we are old, they
will replace human. :)

I heard about the statistical data that shows
married people live longer than unmarried people.
This conclusion is not useful for many reasons:

1.It is based on data for the general population;
therefore, it does not necessarily apply to an
individual. Everyone is different.
2.As you point out, marriage might not be the
cause of healthiness but the effect.
3.Health is not clearly defined. Is it just
physical health? How about mental health?
4.Most people are culturally conditioned to
think marriage is good for them. As a result,
they plan their life to fit a marriage life
style. For this reason, those who want to
get married and end up married are mentally
satisfied than those who want to but do not
end up married. Mentally satisfaction is one
of the factor for physical health. In other
words, marriage is not the real cause of
physical health. To know if marriage is the
real cause of physical health, we will have
to divide people into four groups: A.those
who want marriage and get married. B.those
who want marriage and don't end up married.
C.those who don't want marriage and get married.
D.those who don't want marriage and don't
end up married.

I can think of more reasons why this is
not useful, but I really have to go. I hope
you see my point.

[theuglyvolvo.livejournal.com]

Whenever my mother mails me some horrible story or superstition that's probably a hoax but that she's taken as the word of god I usually check it on www.urbanlegends.about.com

If you already knew this, then never mind.
If you didn't already know this...now I've just told it to you ;o)

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yeah, I knew better. Shame on me.