I must confess that I'm a bit disturbed by...

....the fact that you listed any sex scene "involving Woody Allen" as your favorite onscreen sex scene.

( You are aware that the man is a 60+ year old shrivelled gnome, right? )

You seem to have....

...low standards, so, of course, your profile appealed to me.

Let's see, going through your checklist.

( Big dork? Check. )

Boy, I'm glad you said that ....

( ....you wouldn't try to stick your finger up my nose. )

I'm glad to see that...

...I'm not the only person who appreciates Showgirls.

( Elizabeth Berkeley, you were robbed! )